This is hard for me to write, because you’ve done so much for me. What I’m about to say, however, needs to be said.
I’ve learned in life you always begin and end with a pro, so let me start by admitting how much easier you make some parts of my life. You wake me when I need to be woken and play me white noise when I need to sleep. You give me daily reminders to take my vitamins. You let me have the score of the game I’m missing right at my fingertips. Just the other day I used an assortment of your features to navigate the daunting bus system of San Francisco.
For all of that, I am grateful.
But I’ve got a bone to pick with you. I keep forgetting about emails that I got from a random family member because I get them while I’m busy doing practice GRE tests. I keep neglecting that friend who facebook messaged me because her message came while I was out to dinner. I’ve forgetten important tasks because your reminder switched times when I traveled across time zones.
I know, I know, you’re just going to tell me I shouldn’t open those messages until I have time to take care of them. Which brings me to my second point: stop taunting me with the red notifications! You know I’m a little type-A, and you know I’m going to open every single app until I figure out how to make all the red dots go away. In fact I’m struggling to finish this letter right now because there’s number 1 encased in a red circle daring me to vanquish it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for all the ways you help me. But it seems rather silly that I have to make a reminder on my phone to remind myself to look at an email that I opened just because my phone buzzed and I had to.
Don’t look at me that way. You’re the one with the problems, not me.
Okay maybe it’s me.
I know I said I’d end on a positive so I’ll stay true to my word. I appreciate the fact that you let me stay in touch with the boyf across the country, with my parents when I’m a little scatter brained, with my friends via group chat. It’s all very kind of you.
Luckily for you I’ve got another year before I will formally reassess our relationship. Until then, I sincerely hope you think about what I’ve said, and maybe work on the whole battery draining situation.
(Image source: http://dcist.com/2012/05/no_good_deed_goes_unpunished_virgin.php)